Raindream
by Silvarius
Summary: John Munch sees something vaguely familiar that makes him think outloud. But who does he think he's talking to? Sort of a post ep to Painless.


I know it's been a while since I've written, much less even seen, anything involving Munch or SVU. So I apologize if this seems very badly OOC. I actually wrote this a long time ago and am now finally getting around to posting it. I guess you could say it takes place after the episode Painless. Comments and advice are greatly appreciated.

--

The freezing rain beating down on his aging, exhausted body never felt so good. And this was coming from a man who was never fond of the rain or cold.

It certainly was a nice wake-up call, a refresher, taking his mind off all his problems that were plaguing him. Yet it chilled him to the bone, not to mention the fact that his clothes were soaked and the rain water running down his glasses was making it hard to see. Lightning bolts were lighting up the sky, creating a natural light show. One must have hit pretty close by, for the world turned pure white for a second.

It occurred in the back of his mind that maybe it wasn't safe to be standing on the roof of a tall building. The thought was there, he just didn't care. The thunder rumbled in the distance, vibrating the ground beneath him. Funny, it sounded like it was calling his name.

Fin appeared next to him, attempting to shield himself from the rain with a flimsy umbrella. The look on his face showed that he was pissed off.

"Are you deaf? I've been yelling at you for five minutes. What the hell are you doing up here anyways? Especially when it's like this?"

John continued to stare straight ahead, not acknowledging his partner's presence. "Nothing, really."

"Then what's the point of being up here. You're going to get sick with pneumonia or worse, struck by lightning. I ain't visiting your sorry ass in the hospital."

John cracked a lopsided smile, "Actually, the way you're holding that umbrella, you're more likely to get hit than I am." He had to admit, Fin's concern was touching, but there was no fighting facts.

"Whatever man." He threw up his free hand in defeat. "You wanna kill yourself? Fine. Don't expect any sympathy from me."

"I don't want your sympathy." His voice got noticeably softer, barely being heard over the crack of thunder.

Fin was this close to slugging his partner. "Then get over it." He turned to leave, but John called him back.

"Look over there." The old detective pointed to an apartment across the street from the stationhouse. A family was all seated on their couch, watching a movie and eating popcorn.

"So?" Fin countered.

"Look closer."

"What about it? You becoming a peeping tom?"

John sighed, "Notice a family member missing."

Fin looked again. The father appeared to be missing from the little group. Knowing the man pointing this out to him, he could probably guess what he was thinking.

"It's families like that that deserve our sympathy. Even though they seem happy, underneath it all, they're hurting. Losing someone you care about is rough. If it's part of your own family, that only makes it worse."

Fin raised an eyebrow, "Speaking from personal experience?"

John ignored his question and continued. "Those kids will grow up fatherless. In a few years they probably won't even remember their father. Their mother will get remarried. Their lives will change."

"Crawl out of your little hole for a second and take a closer look detective." Fin pointed to the subject of their discussion. "You're missing the big picture. They all have smiles on their faces. Assuming the father is no longer in the picture, they're not letting it get them down. You should take a lesson from them." Another flash of lightning illuminated the sky, giving Fin a clear, quick view of John's bewildered expression.

"Now," he continued after the thunder had passed. "Are you gonna go in or do I have to knock you out and drag you?"

Taking one last look over to the apartment building, John saw how right his partner was. They seemed happy and content. Where had all this come from anyway? He mentally smacked himself. By now, Fin had probably figured out something, all because Detective John Munch couldn't stand to be alone in his misery. He always had to drag someone else down with him it seemed.

"I'll go peacefully." Was all he said.

"Good cause I'm freezing my balls off and this umbrella doesn't do much when the rain's coming down this fast."

Without warning, John felt somebody grab his shoulder roughly.

"Hey man, you alright?"

John was jolted violently from his thoughts by his pony tailed partner's hand on his shoulder, wondering what the hell just happened. Wasn't he just talking to him a minute ago?"

"Yeah, fine." He ran a hand through his short gray hair. "When did you show up?"

"A few seconds ago. I lost the bet and had to come fetch you. Good thing it stopped raining."

It took him a minute to register the fact that the rain did indeed stop. When did this happen, he wondered.

"Let's go." Fin commanded, turning once again to leave, only to be stopped again by John.

"Wait." He was almost afraid to ask. "Did I happen to say anything unusual?"

His partner gave him a quizzical look, "Besides the usual shit that flows from your face, no nothing. I think your brain's frozen."

John took this to mean no and breathed a small sigh of relief, thankful that their earlier conversation never actually took place. It still bothered him though, he could have swore that it was real.

At least Fin hadn't learned about what he was hiding. Maybe one day he would tell him, but not today.

"That's good. That means you can buy me something hot to drink."

"You're the idiot who decided to come outside in the cold rain without a coat or umbrella."

John shrugged, "I just needed a moment to myself."

"Next time, at least stay inside." Fin became serious. "You were standing near the edge of the building. I thought you were gonna jump."

John actually laughed. "Remember, I believe life's worth living."

"Yeah, yeah. Now I'll just have to kill you myself."

John neared the roof access door, "Come on. I want a hot tea."

"I still ain't buying," Fin said.

Casting one last glance over to where they were standing, a small smile crossed his face. If others could overcome, then so could he. "We'll see about that, Fin." he said, as the door behind them clicked shut.

--

Let me know what you think. It feels nice to be back.

- Silvarius


End file.
